the good life

all things come and go. my last entry was at the beginning of my summer. proclaiming all the things i needed to get done for the next 3-4 months. its funny because 4 months later i still havn't done one thing. it's really insane how fast time is. i turned 21 which to my knowledge was one of the worst nights ever. and began the realization that people grow apart and theres no stopping it. close friends or whatever they were then are just ghosts now. reminants of past times. and you wonder if you ever enjoyed the time at all or is it just bitterness? it's over now. we're better off. this engine of mine runs on a complete lack of stability. fareweather friends, distance, consistant inconsistancy. it's really amazing how much time i actually waste. it's august and i finally got an internship. i work for an up and coming photo industry magazine in brooklyn. the commute is shitty but gets me out and about all day. and i can't lie, i love the city at night. the daily grind. they/it work(s). but the work is tedious and im waiting for the glamour of it all, as i usually am. one day i'll realize life isn't handed to you. anyway, i can't recall much from summer. tonz of overrated drama, sloppy drunken tuesday nights, a few good roadtrips, over 7 flights to chicago and back including one drive which i will NEVER do again, good company came for daze, and yeah thats about it. i'll spare you the mush of my chicago trips because clearly we get it, i love my boyfriend. he's gone til september then he'll be flying here for a change. our one year anniversary is december 3rd and we really wanna go on vacation. however he wants to go to toyko and i was thinking more along the lines of st. martin or some tropical island. we'll see where we wind up! im overly tired which is why i'm even updating. i went down the shore this weekend with my crazy family. it was refreshing and relaxing and hilarious. rode some jet ski's, tanned on the boat, it was really the life. also hit up warped afterparty in LI and got to see so many friends. it really was nice to hang with quality people for a change. wish that was a constant, but the tourlife... we know how that goes. blahh. life is so outrageous. everything is. i know i sound repetitive but thats the only way i can ever explain it. people are rediculous and so are situations and actions and thoughts and feelings. all of it is really unexplainable. there is only one thing that makes sense in my world right now and he's never here enough to make sense of everything else. i wish i could fast forward the next 7 months of my life and be done and graduated with school and move on from this place. i need a new crowd and a new setting. i need one big step in order for my life to take that big turn. but dont we all. this is getting annoying i can tell and i don't feel like spilling anymore nonsense. currently i'm listening to one song on repeat and drinking a peach passion smoothie and downloading sk3themes because i finally got one and yes i'm very fucking excited. if there was ever a movie based on my life, the backround song on repeat would be Person L- Sunshine. and thats that..

and just because...
i'll leave you with an excerpt from my favorite writer of all time:

what has this become?
a question only countered in some monster movie madness.
sometimes spewed out just before the
signal down.
the wizard of oz in reverse.
from color to black and white.
i am completely obsessed with everyone who is completely unobsessed with me.
or sometimes with life.
and by life i dont mean heartbeats and breathing.
i mean 9 to fives and becoming the suburbs.
the complete fuck off of it all being that i am completely obsessed with backyards, christmas trees and lemonaid stands.
its like the northshore is my heaven, the valley is my golden gates.
excuse me for nodding off.
always boring myself to death.
take a chill pill.
the story of my life
the unauthorized biography written by myself.
i dont even remember saying goodbye to you.
happiness is the sand in the sea.
its just a percentage of a percentage inside a body of water,
life is just a crocodile with a ticking clock inside of it chasing captain hook.


pps. this explains a little
http://www.hiplog.com/hiplog/read/4/7503/


best, erynn

from my head to my fingers
it's always a battle for the crown
"i am an arms dealer"
falsity based around a wet dream
none of it stays the same
sickness ails happy anicdotes
when your life seems upside down
faster then ever and she's moving in slow motion
time won't choose sides, but i choose time, every time.
realize a mile down the road there is no turning back
pack your worries in a case & store them for a rainy day
unpack it all when it's least conveinent.
because that's just how life works.
suitors all around and not a damn thing to offer.
show em your wits or your sense of hipocrit.
misplaced words and pronunciation corrections
in a perfect world, you'd actually listen.
overdosed on apathy, a lie i tell to keep in touch.
the strings i hang on dwindle with every click.
if you don't get it, you never have.
the rhythm & vigor in my soul are star crossed lovers
we surrender to a fight we lost along time ago.
slightly off key, i wish anyone would sing to me
when there's nothing to hide theres always more on display.
i wish you kept me in a glass case baby.
"before this turns to black, let's burn away our past
and set this cruise control to crash"
write to remember. think to forget.
cycles of a lost thought process
don't flatter yourself darling
someone else came up with your gimmic.
a con artist,
but i wouldn't even give her that much credit
believing in something requires passion
more then pride will ever show, i've got it down.
i'm not sweating bullets when i can be shooting them instead.
all you have left is to pick up the pieces.
never one for puzzles.
not everything can be fixed.
my thoughts proceed without transition.
which explains majority of my instincts.
never act it out. instant regret. barely a soul left.
empty & whole all at once.
that's a talent i gave you.
i'm keeping a firm grip on this moment
cuz it will never last as long as i want it to.
"i've got a gun with your name on it
if i wasn't afraid of gettting dirty..
i swear i'd shoot"



constantly consistant.
best, erynn

coffee black & tongue-tied.
turpentine chaser, what's your damage?
and it's nothing but black holes from here
nothing but mountains of fear
crowded rooms drown out the sound
when i just don't feel like listening.
"you do it to yourself, girl"
and we've heard it all before.
get your story straight, you feel it too.
overcast days live on day dreams.
'complex, calculated, overlooked, & underrated'
it's all the same when you're alone.
let it (cop)out.
we won't stand for it anymore.
and the dirty game continues to enrapture me.
i'm 6 seconds, 6 digits, and 6 excuses away from you.. always, all ways.
but you can't turn back clocks, so stop wishing on numbers.
the picture tells it all, don't even bother to ask.
can't hide tired eyes under blue skies.
better dream big, it's all you got
and the record keeps on skipping..
she - wants - revenge.